Ever since my parents said no to my Australia trip with my good friends, my mindset had a 180 degrees change. Since then, I have always cried in my sleep. Yes, I did. It’s a rather fucked up period. All they can say to justify their stand is that they are worried for my safety. IM FUCKING 16!!!!!!! Get that into your heads you idiots!!!!! Till now I have not forgiven them. Now I would not even talk to them, nor will I even discuss my PAE with them at all. I don’t give a shit about my father’s cancer anymore. Yes, that’s true. It was supposed to be a secret, but who gives a shit about their secrets. Since they did something to hurt me deeply, I shall just do the same. Do not say that they are doing it for my own good. I hate people who say that. I helped weiren plan they fucking Australian trip, thinking of the people to invite and stuff. How hilarious it is to not be one of those included. And why? Because some god damned bastards in my house just don’t trust me. I hate them to the core. I have always hated people who treat their parents badly, but this time the wound is too deep. I sacrificed my Italy trip with my cousin for what?? The whole fucking year has been a bad year from the start. Firstly, prelim one was a disappointment to me. I thought prelim 2 would be better. However, it just turned out to be another disaster. And if that wasn’t enough, my parents instantly said no to my Australian trip with my friends. Despite telling them that I would inform them about every detail, meet weiren’s mother (the only adult following us) and stuff. But their response brought no joy to me. And this happened one day before the A-maths O level paper, on that fateful Sunday. I lost my temper, I threw things around the house, I ignored my parents for one whole day. It was thing that could ever happen. Today I went to see them off for their trip. Hope you guys have fun!!!! I will be seating in Singapore rotting away. I have had one whole year of disappointment. I think last strike of the hammer has just changed my perception of life completely. Now I will never live for anyone ever again. I do what I like when I like it. When I saw them at the airport readying their luggage, a sudden sadness took hold within me. The pain was excruciating, literally, but for the sake of my friends, I held it in. During dinner, I was no longer able to control my emotions. I felt so extremely sad. Xian yii, dexian, weiren and zhan hui tried to comfort me. Thanks a lot guys I sincerely appreciate it. I’m so sorry that I had to show a little black face on the day you all were taking off. I just couldn’t control myself. I know all my holidays this year are gone. It’s the end of my O levels, but still it’s the worst holiday of my entire life. You know one of the reasons why I even volunteered to help out in the st john camp is just to do something with my friends. Ok gotta wipe off my tears a little now. The whole night I pretended as if I was just sending they all off. I tried to laugh, but every laugh was accompanied with pain. I told xian yii how much I hated my parents; he tried to help me understand what they are thinking. But I was totally obstinate; I didn’t care about what my parents’ thought. Anyways thank you xian yii, I know you mean well. When I was seating next to weiren, I told him about all the things that were going on in my mind. Some of them kept saying, “glen ang, you jealous you can’t go ah?” For god’s sake I was already very sad, need you all rub it in? I asked weiren for the activities they had planned. It was extremely awesome. Yes no doubt I was jealous, but more of it was directed as hatred towards my parents from stealing this opportunity from me. They say they will compensate by going somewhere nice next year. They do not even understand that’s its SO DIFFERENT to go out with your own friends. To add on, they are one of my best friends!!!!! Weiren tried to comfort me, saying that he will have more trips next time. But to me, I think that will never happen. Let’s look at it, after next year; everyone would have gone their separate paths. I’m only scared they will all forget me. The other day I added Andrew ong (primary school friend) on facebook. He had completely forgotten me, except for a brief impression that’s all. I am afraid that’s what will happen next year. Besides, next year I will be filled with JC work, I am not even sure whether I would be able to enjoy a holiday like this year. Why the world must be such as fucked up place? After the O levels, people are rejoicing and having the time of their lives. For me, I will just rot at home. No holiday at all! I so badly want to go on that trip. I would sacrifice all other holiday activities just to go with them there. I sacrificed my Italy trip for nothing! Italy is a so much better place than Australia. Yet I told my cousin I did not want to go because I was afraid it would clash with the Australia trip. I would rather go with my friends, after all it is a rare occasion.
Now that I’ve reached home, I am shouting at my parents for no odd reason. My mother just tried to find out what was wrong when I was typing this post. I shouted at her, “Get lost and go to sleep!” Normally I would regret saying such things. However now, I feel a sense of joy to see them in pain. They will never be able to mend the wound they have made in my heart, and I will not stop till they have suffered as much as I have. That means I will spend money like water during this holiday. I think I should spend money meaninglessly from now on. I will just buy expensive stuff; eat at high class restaurants only. Maybe that will make a hole big enough in their pockets! As a start, I have volunteered to pay for half of the chalet costs, about $200 plus. I intend to spend much more, so that I will make them regret the day they hurt my feelings and destroyed my dream to travel with my friends after O levels. At 16 they can tell me that they do not trust me to go overseas with people other than themselves. Since they do not acknowledge me as a teenager, fine, I shall appease them and act like a spoilt brat from now on, demanding money from them only. If they do not want to give me money, all I will do is to throw tantrums. You give me a fucked up holiday, I give you a fucked up life. Get used to it, you gave birth to such a son like me, I guess it was just your misfortune. I hate YOU! I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU!!!!!!!!
Those of you who bothered to read this depressing blog entry of mine and understand how I feel I thank you.
Fight on 6:14 PM
PROFILE
Maris Stella High (primary-->secondary)(1998-2007)
You are in for something great, don't miss it.This world is run by power mongering individuals and their proxies, do not take them lightly. Their existence is what determines your fate. Glen Ang: 17: 9 Feb 1991: Male:
l Likes l Great friends who are there for you PS3 ^^ Anime MoviesFloorballSoccerSpending good cash on food and clothes lol
